The Gift of Opportunity: Stuff You Can’t Buy On Amazon
“There is no security on this earth; there is only opportunity” –Gen. Douglas MacArthur
I’m not 100% sure but I am betting that referencing the controversial5-star Gen. MacArthur in a mental health blog is probably an atypical and unconventional move. At Believe Behavioral Health we have high expectations for our clients to get well and move on with their lives. Accomplishing this task involves being creative and scientific in our approach. And in the spirit of MacArthur, this blog is going to recommend you engage in some risky and brazen behaviors this holiday season. No, I am not going to recommend you drown your sorrows in booze or the comforts of a stranger. Rather, I am asking you to boldly engage in three significant and progressively risky gift opportunities in order to see life from a vantage point that eclipses the paltry view that the foggy window of depression and anxiety provide.
Opportunity for Gratitude: Risk Level 1
Like pecan pie and coffee, gratitude and positive mood go hand in hand. Research on gratitude has found it to be a formidable opponent for depression and anxiety, capable of creating more optimistic perspectives and balanced emotions
[i]
[ii]. Current stressors, past grievances, and broken hearts can darken your thinking and mood while serving to reinforce longstanding beliefs of worthlessness and inadequacy.
Gratitude Wish List:
Identify what you are grateful for while you eat your breakfast taco—“Yea let me get two Bacon, egg, bean, and gratitudes please”
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Find appreciation and thankfulness when difficulties arise. Being thankful when life is great is easy, anybody can do that. How about, when in a relationship, it is discovered your partner is entertaining others or you catch your teenager with a vape
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An old standby. Start a gratitude journal. Consider having family or friends take turns adding to as you pass it around throughout the year.
Opportunity for Acceptance: Risk Level 2
Acceptance, like the fruitcake our own receptionist recently brought to the office here at BBH, can be hard to face and even tougher to swallow. And like that fruitcake, we can accept ourselves, others, and the experiences that life gives us without liking, condoning, or eating them for that matter. Carl Rogers, an American psychologist, most associated with a humanistic approach, once stated “The curious paradox is that if I can accept myself as I am, then I can change.” Acceptance appears counterintuitive until we see that doing so creates a pathway to view ourselves, and by extension of his principle; others and life itself through a different lens. Acceptance involves letting go of implicit demands and expectations. Rules contained in our fine print describe how we “should” be, others “must” be, and how life is “supposed” to go. In contrast, acceptance helps us become less demanding, less horribilizing, and less awfulzing—all potent ingredients to help reduce depression and anxiety, just don’t put them in a fruitcake.
Acceptance Wish List:
Accept that you will: make mistakes, not always win, not understand everything, have feelings and think thoughts that are not always pleasant, not be liked, loved, or approved by everyone; and will be anxious, sad, and angry sometimes. You can choose to also accept that you are an inherently valuable and imperfect human being just trying to make it in this life the best way you know how.
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Accept that others will: not always be fair, kind or considerate, not think and act just like you would, will talk smack and say some things that get on your nerves, not always be competent; know more than you at times, become easily offended, not always use their talents, not always say or do the “right things”, and will criticize you at times. You can also choose to accept that others are inherently valuable and imperfect human beings just trying to make it in this life the best way they know how.
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Accept that life will:
not always go the way you want it to, have uncontrollable predicaments, be difficult, painful, and tragic at times; and expose you to people who think, feel, look, and act differently than me. You can also choose to accept the life in its entirety—the ups and downs and laughs and tears without fighting reality of what is.
Opportunity for Awe: Risk Level 3
According to Rudd et al. (2012), awe is the awareness that “one has encountered something immense in size, scope, complexity, ability, or social bearing”
[iii]. Research on this potent emotion has linked the experience of awe to improved well-being, expansion of social connectivity, an increase in goal striving behaviors, fostering resourcefulness and flexibility in thinking, and the capacity to elevate our experience beyond our suffering
[iv].
Eckhart Tolle noted that “people don’t realize that now is all there ever is; there is no past or future except as memory or anticipation in your mind.” Why wait to experience happiness in a distant future when you can lay the groundwork for one by opening yourself to an awesome now? Depression is secured by a chronic re-confirmation of what we already think we know to be true—we are inadequate, deficient, incapable, cursed, or purposeless. The power of awe gives us the chance to disconfirm these beliefs and develop more helpful ways of thinking and acting. Living beyond one’s suffering creates uncertainty. Balance this uncertainty by becoming comfortable with not knowing precisely how living without depression will be. We know exactly how depression is going top an out if left untreated—not well. Take a risk this holiday season with by gifting the opportunity to seek awe.
Opportunity Wish List:
Create a personalized awe playlist on YouTube of people, places, and things that amazes you.
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Explore and self-educate on a favorite topic that fascinates you and process it with like-minded others in either face-to-face meetings or in online groups.
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Immerse yourself in awe-inducing experiences such as concerts, sporting events, religious ceremonies, and cultural practices and traditions etc.…
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Traverse sacred texts and historical works to identify amazing words of wisdom to incorporate into your daily life that cultivate a mindful approach of awe-seeking.
If you would like more personalized help for yourself or your child, please call Believe Behavioral Health today at361-894-8734. We specialize in behavioral health services for children, adolescents, and adults. We provide targeted case-management & skills training, psychotherapy/counseling, and access to psychiatric services based on your clinical need.
Joseph Smullen, LCSW, is a psychotherapist with Believe Behavioral Health.
[i] Disabato,D., Kashdan, T., Short, J., & Jarden, A. (2017). What Predicts PositiveLife Events that Influence the Course of Depression? A Longitudinal Examinationof Gratitude and Meaning in Life. CognitiveTherapy & Research, 41: 444-458.
[ii]Petrocchi, N., & Couyoumdijian, A. (2016). The impact of gratitude ondepression and anxiety: the mediating role of criticizing, attacking, andreassuring the self. Self & Identity,15(2), 191-205.
[iii] Rudd,M., Vohs, K. D., & Aaker, J. (2012). Awe expands people’s perception oftime, alters decision making, and enhances well-being. Psychological Science, 23(10), 1130-1136.
[iv]Smullen, J. (2017). Awe beyond the suffering. PSYC 87506 Final Research Paper. California Southern University.
